Enlist your maid of honor to help
If the bridesmaid is someone you can’t exactly fire, like your sister-in-law for example, get your maid of honor on board to lift some of that weight and stress off your shoulders. Have her take complete charge and be the point person to handle any situations or drama that should arise regarding the wedding with this particular person.
Inform the bridesmaid that she’s to direct any questions or concerns to the MOH and let your MOH know, if possible, that you don’t want to hear about any of the drama that goes on either. If she’s your good friend (likely, she is…duh, she’s your MOH) she should be more than willing to meet your needs. Plus, she can always use the other bridesmaids to vent to or go to for some backup.
Give her the option to step down
Of course it might seem uncomfortable to talk about it, but Jessica Janik, Founder of The Invisible Bridesmaid, says you can always start the conversation by casually saying, “Hey are you still in this 100%?” If the answer is wishy-washy or you can tell something’s up/bothering them, then let them know you’re totally ok with them stepping down from the position for whatever reason.
“Having this talk is better than being disappointed by their lack of engagement and enthusiasm the entire year. However, remember If you ask them if they’d like to step down you can’t be upset if they take you up on your offer.”
Unfortunately, sometimes people take on too much and don’t know how to say no, notes Janik. This might have been the case with your bridesmaid.
“Remember that not everyone is in the same boat when it comes to financial situations or having extra time available to help you plan.” She highly advises checking with all of your maids beforehand on if the date works for them and if they’re ok with the money situation and time it involves to be a bridesmaid to try to avoid having regret in the first place.